So Far Away
by LittleMissWho
Summary: The Doctor finds himself in an impossible place, waking up in the arms of a woman he'd though he'd lost. The only trouble is, he can't be there and she can't be real. What is going on? Is this golden eyed woman really Rose? 10/10.5/Rose. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Slowly, his mind drifts from the black fog of unconsciousness and he became aware of his surroundings. Soft sheets, contentment, the delicious warmth of another body wrapped around him. _Wait... what?_ He forces his eyes open, squinting as morning sunlight glares back at him. And then he looks down, and his single heartbeat stops for a second.

The most impossible, beautiful sight meets him, as the pink and yellow creature tangled in his arms nestles further into the crook of his shoulder, sighing in her sleep. Not so much yellow as golden, he notes.

_What on earth? _The impossibility of the situation hits him, and he sinks back into the pillows, not relinquishing his hold on her. The last thing he remembers is standing in the control room, a searing pain submerging him as he accepted his fate, remembering her last beautiful smile before surrendering to darkness. Had he been drugged? Was he dead? If so, why was she here? And why could he feel two heart beats, only one of which belonged to him...

"You alright?" Comes the impossible, sleepy voice from below him.

He looks down to see two gold flecked brown eyes staring up at him with concern, gorgeous teeth biting a gorgeous lip.

"...What's happening?" His voice comes out as a harsh whisper as it all becomes too much "What have you done to me?"

She furrows her brow, as if oblivious to the meaning of his question.

"I can't be here, and neither can you. I don't know who's doing this, but I'm warning you, you're straying into very dangerous territory, playing mind games like this!"

She pulls herself from his grip and sits upright, so she is facing him.

"Doctor? What's the matter? Did you have another one of your dreams?" Her gaze is so concerned, so beautiful, so full of love.

Whoever's doing this to him must be bloody good, and hate him a lot.

"I'm warning you now, STOP! The longer this carries on, the worse it will be for you!"

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" She yells, fear and anger crossing her lovely face, joining the concern. Momentarily, her eyes flash gold, and his confusion deepens.

But she looks so scared, so loving and trusting, so _her, _he feels his anger dissipating, desperation taking its' place. He runs his hands over his face, through his hair, screwing his eyes shut, in an attempt to revive himself. To no avail, she is staring at him with the same bemused expression when he opens them again. He looks upwards, searching for something, anything that could help.

"Please... What do you want? I'll do it... I'll give you anything you want, just don't use her against me... Not her."

"Doctor, please, what's going on? You're scaring me." She sounds almost as desperate as him now.

If he'd been any less brilliant, he might have been convinced. He allows himself to look down at her longingly, wishing she were real. Who with this kind of power could hate him enough to taunt him like this?

"Wow, you've really done your homework haven't you? She's almost exactly how I remember her... Older maybe. Not much, though. Different hair. Same smile, though. If her eyes weren't a different colour you might've fooled me."

He runs a hand over her cheek, carressing it gently. She feels the same. Smells the same. Really, you had to admire the skill put into this, even if it was sickening and sadistic. The way she furrowed her brow and cocked her eyebrow, copied perfectly. The eyes were a giveaway. There was nothing human about them, even if they were familiar. They were impossible eyes, eyes that had seen far more time and pain than she had.

"Right, that's it." Her determined voice breaks through his train of though, and before he knows it, she's pressing her hands against his temples, resting her forehead against his, filling his head with a golden light as she searches through everything. The touch is so achingly familiar, it stills him, and when she pulls her hands away after a few seconds, he feels the loss.

She stares at him with those familiar yet foreign eyes, an unfathomable expression on her face. _Maybe whoever is doing this has found what they need? _

"What's happened to you?" She whispers, her voice trembling "Doctor, please. You can tell me."

The distraught expression on her face is heart breaking, even if it isn't real "What do you want from me?" He whispers back "Why are you disguising yourself as her? I promise I'll help you, just not like this. I'm no good to anyone like this."

She closes her eyes and shakes her head "Who do you think I am?"

"Someone with the power to take on the form of a memory. The most painful memories."

She bites her lip again, in that oh-so Rose way, looking at him as if she has no idea what he's talking about.

"Nothing's affected our link. Whatever is going on here is completely fucked. I can't see it."

He smiles sadly. Whoever's done this has copied her speech perfectly aswell.

"Come on, I can't sort you out here. I need to talk to Jack."

And before he has time to even consider what she's said, she's locked her arms around his waist and pulled him into a blinding light.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Please tell me what you thought! I love to hear from you guys. More coming soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

They materialise moments later in what seems to be a large basement, empty except for a few people in lab coats, working on something across the other side of the room. He feels a pang of recognition as he looks around, like the trace of a memory in his mind, and he feels as if he has been there before. Completely impossible.

She looks at him for a few seconds, apparently relieved.

"Well, thank god we weren't naked," she mutters "I really should've given that some more thought."

Yet again, before he has any time to react, she has pulled them both off the floor, and is dragging him down a long, white corridor, ignoring the many greetings offered to her. She pulls him through a large, glass door into an impressive office and deposits him into a seat.

"Well, good morning guys and gals," An exuberant, achingly familiar voice comes from across the room. "Forgotten how to dress, have we? Or were you two planning on going to that sex planet again?"

He wrenches his head around to see another impossible person walking towards her, eyeing them both with amusement.

"Not Jack aswell," he sighs, returning his head to his hands "Will somebody please just stop this?"

"That bad, huh?" Jack doesn't attempt to hide his mocking smile "I'll have to tell Jake not to let you have any more of that stuff. You're such a lightweight."

"No, that's not it," She's addressing Jack now, glancing at back at him in concern. "I can't see difference in his head, but something's changed, something's been moved. He seems to be himself, but altered at the same time."

Jack's jocular tone quickly turns to one of confusion. "Rosie… what?"

"I was hoping you could help me work that out. I'm at a loss."

Really, the detail that had gone into copying both of their voices was exquisite. It brought tears to his eyes to hear such raw love and desperation in her voice. Over him. He had no idea how it was being done. Probably through reflection of his own feelings.

"Well, you saw him last night, he was absolutely fine. Better than fine. Woke up to find him staring at me weirdly, thought he'd had another one of his funny turns. But apparently, this morning, I'm not real and he can't possibly be here." As he turns his head to look up at her, she sinks into another chair next to Jack, not meeting his gaze.

Suddenly, he has become tired of being passive.

"Exactly!" He exclaims as he leaps out of his chair, beginning to pace "Although I must say the detail that has gone into creating this world really is amazing. I must have made a very powerful enemy somewhere along the line."

They both look up at him as if he has grown two heads, and then look at eachother, searchingly.

"No, really, I take my hat off to you, whoever you are," he continues, staring at Rose "Aside from a few details, they're carbon copies. And if this weren't such an unfeasible situation you might have won me over."

He searches for his sonic, which he miraculously finds in the pocket of his unflattering pyjama trousers, and then walks over to them to examine them more closely. Rose has begun to look slightly scared, which does not help matters at all.

"Really, though, I must ask, what is the point of this? To pull me from a regeneration into a vision of Rose and the life I couldn't give her? Using her memory against me?" He shakes his head in disgust "Is that what you do? Pluck the deepest emotions you can from a psyche and create pain to feed off? You must be having a feast!" He spits the last part of his speech out, as his anger grows. "I'll ask again, WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?"

He realises he is shaking, and closes his eyes in an attempt to calm himself. His emotions in this fantasy world seem to have the same intensity, but are far less easy to control. Two small hands cover his own, catching him unawares, and he allows them to join with his own, against his better judgement. How can she feel the same? How is this possible?

He opens his eyes and looks into her own, tear filled ones. They really are beautiful, just as beautiful as the real ones.

"Sweethart, please tell me what's going on," she half whispers, half begs "You know I can feel it, all the pain, the confusion, I can feel what it's doing to you. But I don't know what it is. Please tell me, _I hate seeing you like this._"

And he feels it, he _feels her pain too. _It fills his head, and is almost as intense as the love and longing for her that is already there. The only emotions that don't take him by surprise.

He is about to ask her how and what is happening, to beg whoever this is to just let him go back and endure regeneration, when Jack interrupts.

"Doc- What's the last thing you remember? Before waking up? Where do you think you were?"

Reluctantly, he takes his eyes off Rose, and looks over her shoulder at Jack, frowning before answering.

"You tell me." His retort comes out more menacingly than he had planned.

"Doc- I don't know what crazy shit is going on in your head right now. I don't know whether it's to do with that telepathic link thing you two have, or whether there's someone messing with you, and I want to help. But I can only do that if you tell me what you think is going on." Jack appears to remain completely calm, if a little confused in the midst of such chaos, which raises his hackles.

He feels himself weaken as he looks back down at her. Really, what harm could it do? Maybe it was part of the solution.

"In the control room, about to regenerate, or at least, that's what it felt like…" He pauses as she lets go of his hands, sitting down on the floor, seemingly overwhelmed. She looks up at him and nods, prompting him to continue.

"Then, something happened, an interference of some sort. I felt myself move, everything went dark, and I found myself wherever this is, with you. I presume you are imaginary constructs of some sort, but if you could shed any light on the situation I would appreciate it."

Rose looks shocked, almost grief stricken, and somehow, he can feel that too. The urge to hug her, imaginary construct or not, is almost overwhelming. Jack looks astonished, and vaguely amused at his assessment of them both.

"Imaginary constructs? What is this, Life on Mars?" Jack enquires, as if he has made some sort of shocking joke "What made you come to that conclusion?"

"Rose, mainly," he answers crouching down for a closer look. She seems in perpetual shock, not flinching or moving at all as he becomes closer in proximity "The fact her eyes are gold. The fact she has telepathic abilities. The fact she is somehow able to materialise. Take your pick. Whatever is causing this seems to have taken her form."

He stands up and walks over to Jack, examining him in turn. "You, on the other hand, seem to be exactly the same as yourself. A doppelganger, if you will. However, you are in my universe, and Rose is in another, living happily ever after with my hand!" The vitriol in his last comment does not escape him, and he scorns himself for it, and for the fact he so often momentarily forgets that his choices caused his demise. "So, you see, this is impossible, and either the TARDIS is playing mind games, or something else is happening and I just haven't worked it out yet."

Through this speech, he finds some comfort in the fact that his logic is still in tact. His raging emotions and altered physiology don't seem to have changed that.

"Incidentally, I don't see why whoever's doing this has felt the need to change my biological structure. I don't see what has been achieved by that. Obviously, they've picked up on my desire for a life with her, my feelings for her, and have chosen to inflict some form of punishment on me by dangling '_what could have been'_ in front of me. That, I can understand. However, this one heart situation and your presence, Jack, just don't make sense."

Jack momentarily looks hurt, before composing himself and nodding, as if trying to absorb everything. He opens his mouth, about to speak, before a gasp from behind them diverts their attention.

Rose is on her feet, looking at him as if _he _were the impossible one. He can feel her surprise, her shock, her revelation. He just doesn't know what it is.

"The last time you remember seeing me... The me that you believe to be real, when was it?"

He hesitates before replying, wondering where she is going with this "Just before this happened, I went back to see you. One last time. New Years Eve... You were so young. You had no idea who I was."

Her beautiful eyes widen, and she leans on the desk behind her for support. The look of disbelief, shock and... anger on her face is overwhelmingly realistic.

"Oh god... Oh my god. It's you... How is it you?"

Jack looks at a loss "Rosie, we know it's him. We just don't know what's happened to him."

Rose shakes her head as if to clear it, before continuing "No, Jack, not _**him**_. The other him. The '_I like bananas but not your mother'_ him. We told you about him."

Jacks hesitates for a few seconds, struggling to understand, before it all clicks in place, and his eyes widen "But that's not possible... Our Doctor is completely different. He's human."

"I don't think he's changed physically, but their psyches, I don't know how or why, but they've transferred or merged or something."

"But... How?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" She yells, her voice becoming angrier by the minute "I go to bed with my husband, and I wake up with a man who seems to think I can't possibly exist. He doesn't know what's happened to me, he doesn't know how you're here, he doesn't understand this world, but he knows who we are. He seems to feel the same towards both of us, our link is still in tact, but he doesn't know how or why it's there in the first place!" He can feel her heart breaking.

She walks towards him, taking his head in both of her hands "This is real, Doctor. This is my world. The parallel universe. Parallel Jack. Our Torchwood. And I've changed, beyond the boundaries of your logic, and you _knew. _Last night, when you were _you_. My Doctor, the one who was with me while all this change happened."

He looks like Jack did a few moments earlier, trying to comprehend the impossibilities.

"And yes, Doctor, I know you're about to say _'But that's impossible'. _And it is. Just like that time when the walls between the universes collapsed, and the Daleks returned. Just like the fact you and I exist."

Her voice has a bitter edge to it, and is unmistakably furious.

"And it's a bugger and a complete headfuck, to be honest, because I'm still so angry and in love with this version of you. And if what I think has happened has happened, you have no idea how confusing life is going to get for all of us. I'd just gotten to be happy in this world. With him and our life. After you decided to play god. We were both really bloody happy. So don't even try to deny the fact that this is real. It may be easier for you to deal with things that way, but the grim truth is that reality doesn't work like that. It's not subject to anyone's rules of logic, even yours. We're all involved in this crap."

He is rendered speechless by this. It doesn't make sense, any of it. He can see tears forming in her eyes. _Her eyes._ Why does it all feel familiar?

She grinds her jaw, and he can feel her frustration with him, he can understand it.

"You can't be- I can't be-"

Then, she snaps. She drags him by the arm, from the room, and up a flight of stairs. Somehow, his feet are not as slow moving as his brain, and he manages not to fall over. He can feel her grasp, he can feel everything she feels, he can feel the coldness of the floor beneath his bare feet. And none of it makes sense.

They continue marching upwards until she slows and draws him towards a window, a lost look on her face.

"Now, you look out there at our world and tell me it isn't real."

And as he looks, he is confronted with a sight almost as impossible as her. People, so many ordinary people, people he couldn't possibly have conjured up, walking, sitting, going about their daily lives, unfased by and completely unaware of him.

"Now look up."

He does, and is greeted with the most impossibly beautiful sky, a sky he should never have seen, a sky he thought he'd never see again.

A very real sky, full of zeppelins.

* * *

_**A/N: I would just like to apologise for my inner fangirl, she is very angsty. Things should calm down soon. Hope you enjoyed it, please tell me what you thought ;)**_


	3. Chapter 3

He sits in a chair with his head in his hands, the weight of this parallel universe resting on his shoulders. This was too difficult and human for him to deal with. A small part of him just wants to take Rose and run. The impossibility of the situation still screams out at him, and yet here they both are. Him with his human body, mixed up brain and uncontrollable emotions and her with her flashing eyes and her... goldness. So very many questions and so very few answers. He just wants her to look at him like she usually does, instead of looking so scared.

He looks up to see that Rose and Jack have been joined by another man and woman, whose faces he recognises. They are standing slightly further away from him, talking in hushed voices. Rose eventually looks over to him and catches his gaze. The others follow the man nodding at him, eyeing him curiously, and the woman offering him a smile.

Rose rolls her eyes, becoming impatient. "Right, so now that we've established that everybody is, in fact,_** real**_, and I have a vague idea of what is going on inside my husband's head, perhaps we could get some answers from eachother? Doctor, I'm sure you have as many questions as I do." She notices his confused expression as he looks at the two newcomers "This is Jake and Gwen, they're on my team here. They also happen to be two of our closest friends, but we'll get to that bit later." She looks at him expectantly.

Jake and Gwen... _of course._ Cybermen... Ghosts... Pizza... Terrible hangovers.

He stares blankly at her.

"Well? Go on. You start."

He tries to keep his befuddled brain in check long enough to string a sentence together. "Err... Where are we? Now, I mean... This building."

She frowns slightly. "Torchwood, Doctor. This is where... we work."

"We... work?"

"Yes. Jack and I run it. You do sciencey stuff and break things by trying to make them sonic."

A proper job? At Torchwood? Yes, that seemed to make sense.

"And we... you... do what?"

"We travel. Through space, not time. Run the universe, defend the earth, that sort of thing." She tries to smile as she speaks.

Yes, that sounds right, too. He feels something pull at his mind again. Through all the confusion, he feels immensely proud of her. She's still completely brilliant.

"_Rose Tyler, defender of the earth." _He manages a smile as he repeats the words he spoke so long ago.

He sees a flicker of painful recognition crossing her face, and he immediately feels guilty. She pulls up a chair, positioning it opposite him, and sits. She looks at Jack, and he smiles sadly, before ushering others out of the door.

"I'll be in the Artron Constructor if you need me." He says, his voice lacking its usual bravado, before closing the door behind him.

She turns back to him and opens her mouth, as if attempting to speak, but can't seem to find the right words at first. Eventually, after a struggle, she proceeds.  
"Look, Doctor. I don't know if you can remember or know anything at all about our life here. This is so, so messed up... it's scaring me." She rubs her temples. "You're not in pain, are you?"

He shakes his head, and has to restrain himself from hugging her at this point. She looks like a lost little girl.

"I need to work out whether it's both of you in there, or if there's been a complete transfer." She continues "Can you remember anything about us... after the daleks?"

He closes his eyes and tries to focus on the peculiar familiarity he feels, trying to bring it to the surface of his brain. Slowly, he unearths... a woman... her... dancing, with white flowers in her hair, smiling beautifully...a small red brick house with a blue front door... golden brown eyes staring at him in complete adoration as he-

He pulls out of that very intense memory quickly. It feels like trespassing.

"Rose... I can see things..." He whispers, scrunching his eyes up. Too many emotions. Love, jealousy, longing... so much longing.

"Can you show me?" She asks, her voice wavering.

He nods, and she places her hands either side of his head, leaning her forehead against his. His heartbeat quickens.

She senses the effect her touch has on him. "Just focus on the memories. Think of it as... amnesia. That will make it easier."

He bites his lip and makes his way back into the fuzzy familiarity. Gently, he delves back in, and shows her the house, her dancing, her eyes... and then new ones. A couple... them... arms intertwined, standing under a pink sky with blue stars... her hair tickling his nose... the rise and fall of her chest as she slept... smiles... laughter... tears and chips. Lots of chips. More than a few times they encounter more intimate, golden ones, in a very large bed, which she skips over, sensing his embarrassment at his involuntary reaction.

He feels less alienated from the world around him as she looks through his mind, bringing more of his consciousness back to the surface. He can feel pieces of his mind emerging from an abyss and coming together, like parts of a very complex jigsaw puzzle. Her presence in his head has a balancing effect, and he can feel the erratic, time lord part of his psyche settle, the presence of the human-meta crisis part of himself becoming more apparent, and it feels wonderfully normal and familiar. He begins to feel reality again, fear and anger becoming less dominant. It's as if she is the antidote to all his madness.

Eventually, she pulls back, and they both resurface, completely overwhelmed. When he opens his eyes, she is staring at him, her expression unfathomable.

"It's you... both of you." She whispers.

He manages a nod, unable to speak.

"But... how can you be-" an involuntary sob cuts her off as it finally becomes too much. She buries her head in her hands and begins to cry.

Like a bolt he is in front of her, wrapping his arms around her, burying his face in her neck. She feels brilliant, so familiar and so very, very real. She wraps her arms around his waist and sobs into his chest, and despite his unease at her emotional state he feels a thrill run through him at the intimacy of their embrace. The human part of him knows exactly what to do, exactly how to comfort her and yet it all feels so brilliant and_ new_.

After a while, her tears subside, and he pulls back to look at her face. His confusion is mirrored in her expression, although she does look slightly relieved and far less scared.

"So... this is really weird. Even for us." She manages a small smile as she speaks. "I mean... should I address you as two people or one person?"

_Now there was a question_. "One, definitely one. I'm still me. I haven't got two separate brains. It's like I can remember things, it all feels familiar... but new at the same time. Everything is just mixed together, it's a bit of a mess up there."

"Yes, I saw." She smiles again, seeing all the questions in his eyes "I think you'll remember eventually. About my change. Just keep on looking. I'll fill in any gaps, but I think it's best you try to figure me out for yourself. Bring you back into reality a bit more"

He smiles fondly, forgetting his current predicament for a moment. "Rose Marion Tyler-Smith, I have never been able to figure you out. And believe me, I've spent years trying. You're just too complicated and brilliant." He smiles, before his eyes widen as his recollection of her new name dawns on him.

She shakes her head, still smiling "Now, that sounds more like my husband. Maybe there's hope for you yet."

He opens his mouth to speak, but she places a finger on his lips.

"I know, we both have so many questions. This is a new level of crazy for both of us, and to be honest, at the moment I feel like I'm about to go insane. I mean... we only woke up a few hours ago. And I'm still angry pretty with you, for reasons you probably can't remember." She brings a hand up to his cheek, stroking it lightly "But... I'm so relieved that you've still got your memory... and we can sort this out. We're both still here, we're both alive, and smiling, and in love. That's more than most people have. Now, no overthinking anything, otherwise I may have to get my mother involved, and I know that neither of us wants that."

She pulls herself upright, and he follows. He draws her into his chest, and they cling to eachother for a moment. Her head fits perfectly under his chin. but then, he remembers, it always has done.

"For now, we need to go upstairs and get Janet to make us some chips." She mutters into his chest.

Rose Tyler was saving him from himself again. He grinned madly, despite the rollercoaster his brain was currently riding, because she really was the most brilliant thing he had ever come across. Ever.

* * *

**A/N: So, a bit happier than previous chapters. Maybe my inner fangirl has calmed down a bit... Hope you enjoyed. Please tell me what you think :)**


End file.
